Whatever sorrow you are carrying, whatever grief, know: the message of Christmas is that God chose to show up in some of the most difficult circumstances imaginable. Seems foolish to the world, but there's God's wisdom. God chooses to walk with us when life hurts. That is the only plan.
I think we need to spend some time with Mary, the real Mary, because she helps us understand what it means to be a person of faith in a dark time.