Trust (in transition)

Before we dive into some difficult Scripture, I want to acknowledge the complicated emotion of this moment. I shared with the congregation my discernment that it is time for me to leave Holy Communion. I have been called as the rector of another parish in Albuquerque New Mexico. My emotions, right now, are all over the map. I am excited about the new job. I’m really looking forward to living and working in a place that has been home for my family for generations. I will get to work directly in ministry with folks who are immigrants to this country, and people called to serve them. Those are some of the excitements.

But I am also tired. Buying a house, selling a house, and preparing for a cross-country move is daunting. Getting ready for a big LGBTQ+ Pride service is a lot of work, and I’ve got to get down there in just a few minutes. Keeping a secret like this discernment from people I love has been tough. Frankly, I’m also sad. I have loved being your rector. I will miss so many people in this congregation specifically, and all of you collectively. We have the next several weeks to say a good goodbye, so this morning I just want to say, right now it’s a lot.

If it’s a lot for you too, that’s okay. Life comes with complicated emotions. It is okay, when a pastor leaves to feel excited for them, and a bit sad, and a bit angry. I know there are at least a few folks who are feeling some relief too. They were worried I’d never leave. And that’s okay too. Relationships with church, and with clergy, are complicated. And this is a complicated moment for our church.

I wonder if that complex human mix of emotions is part of what gives us a gospel like this one. Jesus is all over the map here, emotionally. “I haven’t come to bring peace, but a sword.” That’s tough stuff.

Likewise, this reading from Genesis. God seems to bless Sarah’s jealousy. God endorses Abraham tossing out his son and his mistress. Sending them out to die in the desert. This is a tough set of verses.

But notice, notice what God does next. God says Hagar’s name. God names the outcast, the illegitimate one. God says, I will take what was cast aside and make a great nation. God provides for them too. God is always doing more than we can imagine. God is always there for those who are lost, who are suffering.

These are among the least expected verses in the Bible, I’d say. Because Genesis is the story of the origins of the Israelites. The Bible is supposed to be are the story of God’s chosen people, isn’t it? You’d expect the camera to say focused on Abraham, Sarah, and Isaac, but instead God pans left. Not only is God caring for the people who will be Israel. God is caring for the ones who will be Egypt. God is bigger than our little boxes. And God always cares for those who are outcasts.

Which brings me back to the complicated Gospel. Jesus says so much here. But if you dig a little, there is a theme. Jesus names it in his shortest sentence: “don’t be afraid.” You are worth more than sparrows. The hairs on your head are all counted. Don’t be afraid.

Can I share with you, in my own discernment recently a theme which has emerged? Feeling called to leave a place I love has been hard. Feeling called to join a congregation I don’t yet know, it’s tough. But through this process one word has come to me again and again in my prayer, it’s this: trust.

Trust. Something about the Rev Mike Angell going to a church called St Michael and all Angels just has the stamp of the Holy Spirit’s humor all over it. Something about this congregation, the work they do, but also the people they are and the place they serve has called me. It’s scary, but every time I get nervous, I feel like God has been inviting me with a single word: trust.

In the days ahead, and the years ahead, Holy Communion, I’d invite you also to trust. Trust that the work we have done together has been bigger than any one of us. The emotions will be complicated, no doubt. It takes a lot of work to call a new rector, but the strongest congregations lean in to that work. They use a time like this to do their own discernment, to name and claim where they believe God is calling them next. They know that God is bigger than any one story.

So trust. Trust one another. Trust your staff and vestry. But especially, trust God. God doesn’t leave anyone behind. God doesn’t leave anyone behind. God is there, amidst all the complexity. Trust.

Amen.